I was walking Isis in Buena Vista Park one day when I came across something that assured that no matter what else happened, that day would be a good one.
The park is basically a wooded hill. There a paved road to the top of the hill, and there are several dirt trials traversing up and down the hill on all sides.
Because it’s a big wooded hill, Buena Vista Park is not a good picnic park. There are some benches strategically located to take in the view, but Isis and I treat it as an urban forest and “hike” though it. It is well known for its view, and notorious as a cruising park for local gentlemen wanting to enjoy fresh air … on their dicks.
While hiking on one of the dirt trials I saw a condom wrapper. Hmm, funny. Then I saw, ever so gingerly draped over a small branch, a used condom. Even funnier. I should have continued the walk. But I was interested.
I was interested like some people are thrilled to see car crashes. I hate auto accidents–if I see a collision, or go by the aftermath of a crash, I actually look the other way. I don’t need to see a mangled body, thankyouverymuch. I never saw “Two Girls, One Cup” and I never will. That video with the jar and the guy’s bleeding ass? Won’t see it.
But this time I couldn’t tear my eyes away. I looked at the used condom closer. I wanted to see if it had come in it. I don’t know why I wanted to see, but I did. It did not have come in it. It did, however, have shit on it. YES! I know, I’m a sick fuck, but that is damn hilarious.
I tried to take photos, but my phone has a crap camera. And it’s probably for the best that the photos didn’t come out, because really, I may be the only person on earth who actually wants to see something like that. People would think I’m into scat or something. I am not. The few times shit (yeah, more than once–don’t judge) has been involved in my sex life were messy and embarrassing accidents, NOT turn-ons.
A shitty used condom made my day.
I swear. True story.
May 24, 2009 at 5:51 pm
You are a fabulously entertaining girl, yet again.
Also thanks for the addition to my list of must see sights next time I’m in The City.
May 25, 2009 at 8:07 am
You are an amazing woman. I have never met a woman before that could equal my curiosity and desires. I think I may have met my match, finally…
May 25, 2009 at 8:09 am
I hope we can meet someday and at least talk over lunch…
May 25, 2009 at 2:12 pm
Email me and we’ll see.